Do you hear what I hear?

People disappoint you.  

This is such a simple fact, yet why does it always seem so hard to digest every time it happens?  

I guess it gets me thinking about how God feels when we disappoint Him.  

Recently I have felt like I have been the one initiating things in so many of my friendships.  During one of my pity parties, I started thinking about how God feels when He is constantly initiating opportunities to spend time with Him, and we just miss His calls, or screen His calls, or forget to call back, or flat out reject Him!  Many times we hear sermons about finding time to get a "quiet time" with God each day, but what if all we had to do was open our ears to hear Him initiating moments with us and say yes.  That seems like what it means to live by faith, you know, listen and know the Holy Spirit more than relying on your own efforts to pencil in God on your schedule.  

I have a quote written somewhere in my apartment that says, "There is freedom found in discipline."  Well, this was from a talk I heard about how if you put some discipline in your life, then you won't have to worry as much about many things.  That is kind of a general explanation, I realize, so an example would be that if you had discipline in your diet, then you wouldn't have to worry as much about your health or waistline.  The other day I looked at the quote, and tilted my head.  I immediately started thinking, "No, that is wrong.  There is freedom found in Jesus.  The pharisees thought their freedom was found in discipline.  No, my freedom is found in Jesus."  I walked over to the quote and crossed our discipline and wrote in Jesus.

I just gave you many jumbled thoughts that somehow connected in my head.  Before I go, I think I must say that I am not trying to say that scheduling daily quiet time with God is a bad thing,  I am simply suggesting that we not be content with our scheduling of God into our lives, and instead listen for when He initiates time with us.  Furthermore, I am not suggesting that when freedom is found in Jesus, then you can say to heck with any self-discipline.  Rather, I am saying that we should place our hope in that.  Discipline will not save your soul, nor your sanity.  Galatians does list self control as one of the fruits of the Spirit, so if we hope in Jesus for our salvation and seek to align our hearts and sync our souls with the Spirit inside us, then we will exhibit more and more self control (along with the other fruits of the Spirit).

This post is very jumbled and poorly written.  Sorry.  I think I was mainly just preaching to myself.

So lucky

I am so in love, and so lucky.  I love that I never have to fabricate anything about my fiance.  He is who he is, and I love him for who he is now- not who he could become.  We both have things to learn in life, but I know that he is the one that I want to go through life with.  I love how he can make me laugh through anything.  He is my romantic guardian playmate.  I am so appreciative of his support through all these changes being made. 

I'm so excited to be his wife.

I believe we have a heck of a shot at helping give marriage a better rep.  It is all a matter of choices.  Choose not to make sarcastic jokes.  Choose to talk about the good things about your loved one.  Choose to remember sweet memories together.  Choose to turn off the TV and learn something new together.  Choose to seek God's help.  Choose to refuse to join in when others are bashing the opposite sex.  Choose romance.  Choose loyalty.  Choose joy.  Choose to strive for more and more out of your relationship (the relationship, not the other person).  Choose to be content with the other person.  Choose to not hurt.  Choose to stop ridiculous fights.  Choose to laugh.  Choose to love.  Choose to be brave and love more passionately every day.

That is the marriage tip of the day from this 20-years-old bride-to-be.  

Bye bye nursing school...

Yesterday I withdrew with passing grades from nursing school.  Only God knows why He gave me a passion to be there.  I am going to be a teacher now.   What I have learned this past week is that people care more about your plans than your current condition.  This past week has been so full of questions.  When is the wedding? What are you going to do now? Are you sure you want to be a teacher? Where are you going to live? When are you going home? How is that going to work?  What if it doesn't work out?  What did they say? What do you want to teach? You know that isn't easy either right?  Don't you think you are too smart for that?  What happened? Weren't you were so excited to be nurse? Where is the wedding going to be?  Why don't you do it a different time when it is better for everyone?  You don't want to do it then, do you?  What about they honeymoon? Have you picked out colors?  What about a house?  You don't want to register for gifts?  Did you pick out a ban?  

Sigh...and the wedding planning hasn't even begun.  I'm already over it.  I just want(ed) something special with our friends and family.  Can't I reinvent the wedding without people throwing a fit?  Why does it have to be stressful and full of silly aesthetic details that will be meaningless.  I just don't want it to be all about us, because it is so much more.

On another note, I am really going to miss all of the really sweet people that I met at nursing school.  I am thankful for their encouraging words.

I am excited for the crazy adventure ahead.  I may not know all the answers to how it will pan out, but who cares?  God will do His thing even if I make my own plan.

P.S. I like Lindsey.  She's great.